Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2
We enter into every situation with certain beliefs or expectations. Those beliefs and expectations directly influence the way we are going to end up feeling about an event or person. Here’s an example: Suppose a hundred airplane passengers are unexpectedly given parachutes and instructed to jump from the plane. If a physical situation alone could cause emotions, then all the hundred people would feel the same way. But obviously those who regard skydiving positively are going to have a [reaction] very different from the others.
In other words, our beliefs and expectations about a person or event or situation directly influence and, many would argue, cause our feelings. They are not the result of or inherent in of the situation itself. The truth is, others do not cause our feelings — we cause them ourselves.
This turns out to be great news, because that means that we have control of our feelings, much like we have control over other choices we make in our life. That also means that transforming our beliefs so that they align with the mind of God as revealed in His Word will allow us to overcome belief systems that can cause much pain or distress in life. That's the goal of Transformation Counseling.